[Contains spoilers, may also contain traces of unpopular opinions]
It just so happened that I picked up The Idea of You a couple of weeks ago in my quest to establish a cute nighttime routine. I've already got my magnesium pills, my sleepy girl mocktail, and my lavender pillow spray; the only thing missing was a light read to help me wind down
The routine was, a shower and Foreo Bear, castor oil mask, mocktail, lavender spray and a few pages to get me all so cozy aka a millennial's guide to TikTok. The book looked pretty thick so I knew I didn’t have to go through the ritual of finding a new one for a while.
Boy, was I wrong.
I finished that bad boy in three days. And it took so long because I had to work in the daytime.
And then, the next best thing happened.
The movie was out. That Thursday night, I couldn’t wait to get through my routine so I could finally get stuck in.
Well, I'm just as surprised as you are to be writing about this, but it seems like big-money studios still assume people are stupid and need to simplify things to cater to the masses. I thought we were moving away from the commercial rom-com adaptations, but it appears there's still a fear that the nuances and complexities of a well-written book might be too complicated to portray.
Robinne Lee created complex characters and situations, and showed the nuance of how complicated things can get, no matter how many people know your name. And, in my opinion, above all else, it gives us the biggest teaching in the most easy-to-digest, relatable way - how people end up denying their own happiness because of past experiences, wounds and lack of healing.
The film doesn’t show any of the complexities and nuances of the book (media harassment aside). Solene goes from being a successful co-owner of an art gallery, meeting Hayes in between work trips around the world to a glorified groupie who needs to be constantly convinced she is not too old or too much of a “mum” to be around Hayes. The film’s portrayal is shallow, it still teaches us that women should drop everything when being chosen, especially if they are being plucked from the crowd.
The book shows the progression of their story and how they fall in love. The nuances and situations also show the complexity and humanity of the characters, personal values, life perspectives, female pleasure and passion.
The central theme might be Solene & Hayes’ love story but many moments around it also add a lot of value and something unique to the overall story. The hotel incident with the 17-year-old girl was a really powerful moment because it not only exposes the insane, crazy world of fandom and celebrities but also shows a different dynamic between Hayes and Solene. It shows their humanity and how they see the world based on the lives they live. We also get to know more about Hayes.
Many other characters, like Lulit, Amara and even Daniel, add complexity and depth, much like real life. We get to know many sides of Solene - the business partner, the ex wife, the single mother, the lover, the woman, the intellect, the art lover. It shows her values and what she stands for. It’s seen throughout her relationships with Lulit, the market positioning of the art gallery to only represent female artists and artists of colour, as well as all the artists they meet and build relationships with. It also shows Haynes integrating into Solene’s life, forming relationships with people, much like the one with Lulit by putting her in touch with Oprah. The film shows nothing of the sort.
There are many other important things I feel have been missed or changed that are pivotal in portraying the characters. One is the age adjustment. I think that was a big cop-out.
The film also sort of depicts Hayes as a shallowish, immature kid who has a crush on a beautiful woman whereas Lee’s Hayes is so much more of a human person, a boy who admires and falls in love with a girl. He studies art so he can be at Solene’s level, he joins dinners with artists and holds intellectual conversations, they have witty banter and spicy chemistry.
I probably need to write an entire essay on the film's ending and how it clearly demonstrates the polar opposite message of the book compared to the film.
I’m also bumped there was no Oliver - Solene - Hayes situation.
All these moments, add up and they portray a very relatable life with complications, worries, confusing moments, doubt, lust, love. But even beyond that, it shows how nothing is right or wrong, good or bad.
How is the audience supposed to mature, see the nuances of life reflected back to them if we keep making such black-and-white, all-or-nothing cash-focused room coms? Truth be told, the last room-com I watched was How to be Single years ago, but at least I knew what I was signing up for.
I guess the film wouldn't have bothered me as much had this just been an Amazon studio commercial rom-com fantasy film, written in a rush to create something cute and shinny, but this is based on a book written by a complex and intelligent writer, who has done an incredible job in taking a popular fantasy and turning into a life story, that shows that no matter how more or less famous or rich someone may be, people can truly be vulnerable with each other.
The book is also culturally rich and diverse. The film is not.
As I was reading the book, I was getting hot and bothered and was ready to dive deep and brain fart a blog on how annoyed I sort of was at Solene. She ends up walking away from Hayes, even though she truly loves him because of the impact the world has on her life. I believe that the reason why she allows her life to be thrown upside down and eventually gives up on her own happiness is because she carries wounds of betrayal, of not being chosen, of being abandoned, and through that, the feeling of unworthiness.
From the beginning, she has one foot out the door. Whilst half of her falls crazily in love, the other half is dealing with feelings of unworthiness, the self-consciousness of being too old because that's how society sees women, and the double standards of patriarchy. And if you ask me, I kind of think she was being unfair to Hayes by battling these two extremes and she never really gave him a full chance. Hayes was constantly proving himself and Solene allowed herself to indulge in the intoxicating feeling of love and passion whilst keeping half of her brain in control, predetermining how far it would let it go and how she would act. Had she taken the time to explore her own fears, beliefs, and definitions she would have gotten to understand that any of the stereotypical rules of society were not rules to live by and might have been more loving towards herself, saw herself as an equal and by the result, her behavior would most likely be different.
And to be completely honest, I would have rather had this conversation about the importance of self-worth and healing which directly impacts our reality and how we show up in our life versus the current one that I’m having about a pretty movie that sends a very confusing and unrealistic message - the main heroine needs to be self-established and successful professionally (and so we remove the business partner) but humble and self-conscious enough to know her place. And so, the movie creates a fantasy where the famous guy begs for her love and time and ends up sweeping her off her feet five years later when the age difference is not really a thing and the media has chilled.
It’s like reducing Emma Morley from One Day and making her into the girl who has been waiting for 20 years for a guy to realise she was all he's ever wanted. It's disrespectful to the author and also perpetuates the same 90s and early 20s “humble, powerless, quiet and pretty and waiting to be picked and convinced” girl. We are past that.
Passionate rant aside, my intention is not to throw shade towards the film or anyone involved. I guess I felt the book tells a different story, and I was excited to see it in a different form. I feel that the film was very simplistic, as if the audience isn’t intelligent enough to see the different nuances of life and what happens when two people with polar opposite lives meet, connect deeply, and how wounds can stand in the way of one’s happiness.
Watching this reminded me of watching One Day back in 2011 and feeling just as sad and disappointed, not because Anne Hathaway was also the heroine, but because, once again, the soul of the book was missed. I believe this is what happens when we produce for the masses rather than sharing an artist's vision with the wider world; instead, we focus on spoon-feeding a fantasy for the viewers.
Maybe that's why shows like Fleabag, Normal People, and Conversations with Friends, were made as series. They were based (apart from Fleabag) on books that have depth and complex, human themes running through and maybe it needs more time to do it justice. Maybe that's why the One Day (2024) series worked so well.
I think The Idea Of You is a very powerful book and can become a very powerful film or series, where writers and directors have the time to show themes like inclusivity, diversity, self-respect, power of self, love, passion and the great cost we pay when we don't heal ourselves.
It actually kind of breaks my heart that the movie portrays Solene as a functional victim, who feels worthless around young and pretty people, who needs to be convinced and pursued over and over again just to be swept off her feet at the end. It’s not only an insult to Robinne’s character but also communicates the wrong message. It continues to promote the inequality in relationships, that women have to stay humble and self-conscious, especially if they are over 30, and that men are supposed to continuously convince us they want us, make grand gestures and prove themselves over and over again, as if this outside validation in real life has ever made anyone feel more worthy.
Even though the book does have the wounding and insecurity undertone, it tells a different story, a complex one, it shows the importance of healing and the consequences when we don't even see our wounds. It almost serves as an extreme, tragic lesson.
I feel like we are moving towards what I call (quietly, to myself) New Hollywood. With more production companies independent from big studios being more and more established, where creatives have the freedom to create or adapt work without being pressured or solely driven by dollar bills. There are a lot of people who have the resources and established relationships in the industry to start producing in a more rounded, real way. People like Jordan Peele, Donald Glover, Adam McKay and so on. And I do believe, that more will follow and with this influx of new content, the audience is slowly being guided into a more elevated place where they are encouraged to broaden their mind and see how nothing is really black or white, good or bad, right or wrong.
In my opinion, the beauty of this new age lies in the fact that everyone will perceive something different based on their own beliefs and definitions of reality. These diverse viewpoints will ignite conversations and debates, ultimately generating more content that facilitates meaningful discussions. Maybe some healing too, so we can go towards being more balanced and less mean.
I guess I'll now wait for the Netflix series. David Nicholls's book got his justice, I hope Robinne Lee’s will too and we won't have to wait 13 years for it.
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