I’m late to the Paul Mescal party.
Paul Mescal blew up overnight, at least on my feed. I first saw his face in Normal People. I read the book and had no idea the series came out until a year or so ago. I loved it. I love this type of intimate filmmaking with long shots, closeups, long pauses, and sound catching every breath and movement. I could write a book on it and I would start with Carnage. I know it’s a more play-like type of film, and it probably has its own genre, but it’s giving me the same feeling: like I'm peeking inside someone's home, world, life, mind. You get the idea.
Anyway, the boy caught my eye when I heard about the Gladiator sequel.
Two things on this.
Firstly, unlike with The Expendables, where I have proof that I predicted/manifested it when I was about 14 (because those dudes were my dads, apart from Dolph whom I had a crush on and wanted to be the good guy for once, and Van Damme, whom I never fully believed his mischievous eyes and wanted him to be a baddie for once), I have absolutely no proof that, when I saw Connell’s little face on the screen, I immediately thought, 'Dude's hair makes him look kinda Roman and a little bit like Joaquin Phoenix. Perfect for a Gladiator sequel to follow Lucius's story, or something like that, I was quite risen. No one looks more like Joaquin Phoenix’s incestuos son, sorry nephew, than Paul Mescal!
And secondly, I’ve never been more jealous or sad about not being a boy myself until I found out Gladiator is having a sequel. I’m aware that, even if I were a boy, my chances of becoming Lucius would be slim, but it was nice to dream.
Gladiator is one of my absolute favorite films, not only because it's one of the cult films my dad and I watched thousands of times and is part of our own little world (along with the Highlander series, but that's a different story), but also because of its characters, its storyline, and the layers of philosophy I keep discovering as I grow older. It's giving me all the feels. I could talk endlessly about Gladiator, Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, and Joaquin Phoenix, but this article serves a different purpose.
I don’t know if it’s a stretch to call it serendipitous or just a brilliant marketing game plan from the PR teams, but Paul’s face has been popping up everywhere in the last year or so.
It’s funny because he reminds me of the best friend everyone has, with whom you always feel free and comfortable to do all the stupid shit just because it would make a funny story someday. Mattress surfing on the stairs? Paul will race me. Midnight McD’s drive by cos we have the munchies? Paul’s up for it. Go on a long walk and have a deep conversation about the meaning of life? Paul’s your buddy. Get fucked up? Paul’s already two pints in. Have a heated debate about who would win in a thumb wrestling match between Yoda and a miniature version of Arnold Schwarzenegger? Paul will argue till 5am. Now, I don’t know if any of this is accurate, I don't know the guy, but it’s the vibe I’m getting.
And again, sadly, this is not the space where I get to talk about Paul Mescal in an attempt to become his bestie. I have a slightly different purpose.
I want to talk about dongs vs boobs.
In the words of Dennis Reynolds “Give me dong, or give me death”.
After Normal People came out I started seeing a bunch of posts about Paul talking about how he felt objectified by people’s reactions. I read somewhere about an interaction with a woman who screenshotted him in that scene.
Now, in my humble opinion, I didn't think the scenes were that scandalous, or even stood out to me as a thing (ha! stood out) until I read an article about it. To be honest, the scenes were definitely more justified than Richard Gere’s scene in American Gigolo.
Then, more headlines started appearing on my feed about him with the same vibes - He's not just an Irish stud, he feels objectified and so on. And absolutely, no shade here. I get it. I actually get both sides, and spoiler alert, it all goes back to gender inequality.
Recently, however, this conversation has gained momentum with figures like Paul Mescal and Barry Kheogan at the center of it. What makes this moment different is that these men aren't shying away from acknowledging the inequality between men and women when it comes to objectification. They are openly acknowledging that women face harsher treatment, and it's a significant step forward.
Why did these scenes hit so hard?
On one side, it’s not that common to see guys in vulnerable roles, and it’s definitely not that common to see so much of them, if you know what I mean. And to everyone’s surprise, girls are pervs too. Personally, I think it’s a bit much to even go up to the guy and be like "oh hey, so your dick is screenshotted on my phone." I actually think this is a slightly different conversation on the relationship between people and famous people, and I’m trying not to get sidetracked here, (but naturally, I have a lot more thoughts).
On the other side, from the artist's perspective, it's such a shitty way to read about people's reactions to your work. When people fixate on specific details that completely miss the point of the work itself, it feels incredibly unfair, and it's perfectly normal to express these feelings.
It feels like people overlook your hard work and the piece of your soul you put out there, and the only thing they have to say is comment on your dong. Those characters were so complete, so layered, so relatable to so many parts of us and yet, most headlines are quite shallow and honestly, disrespectful. Or maybe my algorithm is broken, don't come after me.
But, I actually think it opens up the floor for a wider conversation.
Same response to nudity, different conversations
I understand the novelty of these scenes draws attention and so, people pay a bit more attention to them. Compared to the frequent depiction of women nude on screen, male nudity is still far less common. Yet, that's been the focus of much discussion. Dongs, dongs and dongs.
Inequality has different faces, and in this scenario, it’s evident in how we receive nude scenes and the extent of our comments, articles, and digs about them.
The way these scenes are received isn’t different. Inequality is evident in how we respond to these scenes. We’ve never been silent about them. And we’re never quiet when we see it. When it involved women, we downplayed our bad behavior, objectification, and exploitative commentaries, and accused them of overreacting during uncomfortable interviews or when sexist articles were published about them.
But now, I feel like things are shifting. We’re paying attention and supporting the guys when expressing dissatisfaction with how they're being treated, in the media or in the wild. And rightfully so.
And the most fucked up thing about this whole conversation about men's nude scenes is, if you really think about it, it still takes us back to inequality for women. The reason why everyone is reacting so loudly to these dongs on screen is because we're only used to seeing women nude and men, nothing more than the occasional butt cheek.
Inequality is always showing women nude and men not so much.
Up until now, we have only been exposed to female nudity. Dongs are a novelty. We react loudly, make a big deal, and are distracted from the reason why they’re there because we’re not used to seeing them hanging on screen.
If we can stretch our knowledge past the first layer, we can see how this is another way where sexism against women affects both men and women.
Dongs are a big deal because all we see is boobs.
It's crucial to recognize that the uproar over male nude scenes underscores a deeper issue of inequality. The novelty of seeing male nudity on screen is a testament to the longstanding double standard that has normalized female nudity. The disproportionate attention given to dongs reflects the deeply ingrained sexism that permeates our society.
Crash course in sexism in Hollywood - elevator pitch edition
For decades, actresses have been sexualized and objectified, to the point where boobs were acceptable for a 12A, but you can only see a dick in porn (at least it was where I grew up). Actresses who spoke out were often mocked, dismissed, or labeled difficult.
Today, there's still a clear double standard: a serious actress going nude is seen differently than a man doing the same. Simplifying it? Patriarchy.
And yet, things are changing and we’re starting to see more complex stories, different types of filmmaking and the emergence of the more independent production companies is giving artists the freedom to tell their stories without having a big studio breathing down their neck. Still, in terms of the media and people's perception, the story is basically women = naked = not a serious actress and dude = full frontal = brave. And I don't have the time to add the layer of "newness" and the difference in how we’re accepting a new emerging actor’s nude scenes vs a new actress. (That’s a story in itself. Women would have to work hard to establish themselves as serious actresses and pick roles carefully to not fall into the trashy pot, whereas new guys are coming out fully nude and we’re in awe.)
Where things are changing
I believe the real conversation lies in how the media and the audience receive and discuss these scenes and how the new wave of actors are responding to these conversations. Because, once they express their disappointment, the world listens, the articles are pivoted, and the awkward interviews stop. They’re not afraid that the studios will cut ties with them, because the studios will not. It’s a luxury actresses still don’t believe they can afford to have.
I simply think that the invisible hand still lies within the inequality in the industry itself. Not for long though.
Nothing new is happening, though. The actions, situations, and occurrences are the same as they were 10, 15, or even 50 years ago. However, what is changing is how we are starting to react to this sexualized section of the movie world. And I believe it's mainly because the boys are now speaking out.
Why does it have to be a guy for us to pay attention? To write about a guy being groped and the world agreeing that is not ok? Is it because sexism against women is so woven into our lives and part of the norm, that we don’t even see it anymore? Is it even in question?
The media is always going to be the last one to catch up and this is the most important takeaway from this tiny, entertainment-related situation.
For the most part, having more and more explicit male scenes makes me feel like the field is leveling out. As a teenager or young adult, seeing a completely naked man in films was a rare to inexistent occurrence, but women - boobs everywhere. And it’s not about wanting to see more dongs, it’s about starting to have an equal representation for all genders, normalizing it. It seems like the trend is shifting, pulling back the oversexualized female narrative and amplifying the representation of male nudity.
The way we talk about it is a reflection of the world we live in
The way it’s perceived by the audience and perpetuated by the media is a reflection of the world and the foundation it is built on. Women have spoken out about over-sexualisation and objectification for decades and nothing has really, truly changed.
But now, it’s starting to feel like we are listening.
I believe that small disruptions like these can be the beginning of dismantling the patriarchy woven into systems, environments, and life in general. History has taught us that real change cannot come from outside; The call always has to come from inside the house.
This is not a dig on Paul Mescal in any way, it just happened that his face on my feed kickstarted all these thoughts over the past few months. Everyone should feel free and empowered to vocalize when things feel off. That's the whole point.
I’m actually giving him his flowers because by speaking out and things shifting, he's actually shedding light on the world we live in. It exposes the bias against women. Well, not exposes, reinforces it. He even acknowledged that the experience is worse for women, and each time I hear a male dude acknowledging these truths, it makes my soul smile.
I think we’re starting to feel as if we are moving towards a more natural, normalised, equal industry because of people like Paul, who not only vocalize their own feelings, but they act like a person-who-happens-to-be-male*, and not like stereotypical men have to be men to reach status, have a successful career and so on. And I believe we can only achieve real change if we all unite, all genders and this new wave of artists is only the beginning.
I'm not only talking about Paul Mescal. My flowers extend to Barry Keoghan, Brandon Perea, Harry Styles and others whose names I can't think of right now. They are redefining masculinity, on and off screen, in the industry and outside it, and it's beautiful.
Redefining masculinity in the public eye results in creating a new connection with men worldwide, almost allowing them to be more in touch with themselves. Because, when men are more in touch with themselves, they are less afraid, when they're less afraid they can love more, and when they can love more, they can see the injustice and inequality around them and not have the need to attack and negate but unite and fight against it.
Representation matters.
Validation matters.
Especially in today's world, where every action is fuelled by fear.
I believe these seemingly small entertainment stories can be the first steps in addressing people's fears or parts of themselves that are often ignored or shamed. That's why I admire the new wave of actors rising higher and higher. They are helping us all work together to build the foundation of a new world, made from love, equality, and compassion.
The wider picture
It's crucial to acknowledge that this isn't just about one actor or one instance of male nudity. It's about a broader cultural shift towards dismantling patriarchal norms and embracing diversity. By redefining masculinity and challenging inequality, these actors are helping to create a more inclusive and compassionate world.
The emergence of actors like Paul Mescal challenges traditional notions of masculinity and creates space for more inclusive narratives. By speaking out against the objectification of both men and women, these actors are paving the way for a more equitable industry.
*I have borrowed and adapted the term 'person-who-happens-to-be-male' from Amanda Seales's stand-up special I Be Knowin' comedy special, where she discusses the distinction between 'white people' and 'people who happen to be white.' The way I understood it, it highlights the subtle nuances in behavior and beliefs that can be challenging to express with a single word. These types of nuances can be conveyed through an intelligent and profound use of language. I wanted to convey the same nuance regarding a different type of privilege in my article.
Amanda says "People who happen to be white are people who do not adhere to the false notion that white is indicative of supremacy. However, they understand that with whiteness comes privilege and so they use their privilege to give those who don’t have access to it access.” On the other hand, she explains that “white people are people who believe the notion that their skin color makes them better. And if you believe that something that was created solely for the purpose of oppression makes you better, then you ain’t shit!”
Quotes extracted from Essence.com article.
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